when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
