put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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