It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
there was a trapeze. enough said
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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