did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
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