She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
