I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
It was confusing and full of hummus
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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