What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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