Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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