margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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