Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
