Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
