do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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