i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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