my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Farmville is her only friend.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
