there's paper in my vomit.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
