I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
