Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
