Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
