So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
