I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
