i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
