Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
should my penis look like a turkey
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
