Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
