No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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