Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize