Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
tell me about the eggs
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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