bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
