Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
