...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
