how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
