between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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