Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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