Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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