Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
