Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
