so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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