dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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