Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
