she smelled like a LAN party
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
