So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
