I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
