So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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