is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Farmville is her only friend.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
