nut hugger
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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