well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
