There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
