Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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