OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
