Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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