just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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