i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
