grandma shit on top of the toilet
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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