Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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