I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
