I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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