well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
