Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
