Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
